Also, many people who’re dying of incurable diseases enter a state of calm acceptance during the closing weeks of their lives. I empathised with them.Never before had I understood the urge to self-harm, but when I clutched the remote and administered a shock to my already-aching balls, the excruciating pain calmed my tormented emotions; water in the desert. Luckily, I’d no means of killing myself.* * * * * * * *Forty-eight hours later I met my castratrix. By then, my physical recovery was sufficient for me to have resumed exercises, training classes and cleaning and cooking duties. I ached all over but I was mobile. Emotionally, however, I was wrung out. I remembered how Specimen Five’s confession in Part Two of the film had seemed mechanical, devoid of feeling. Now I understood. As my mind ran its tape-loop of my treatment of Laura, the same adjectives applied: mechanical, factual, detailed. Ms Takamitsu marched into my cell followed by Ms Curtis, Ms Kurtag and two other Japanese. I was not aware of my body's responses with the embarassment that followed, but erections seemed to happen to me in the most mudane circumstances at that age, I was not surprised given my encounter.I slowly rubbed my penis through my shorts replaying the image of that wonderful body in my mind. I started to expand the fantasy, trying to imagine what her breasts were like. She was big lady. More than rubenesque. In my immaturity I had no "preference" in body type. Every naked picture I had ever masturbated over brought me to a quick climax. Young, old, short, tall, skinny, heavy were all thoroughly desireable.She's lying on my bed, her face flush with desire for me. One hand reaching out for me, the other slowly massaging her large, heavy breasts. Parting her heavy thighs she breathlessly begs me to undress. She guides me onto her soft naked body, sliding my hard cock into her. She whimpers, as I bury myself. She whispers my name as I suckle her nipples. She groans as I slide in and.
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